Patrick (after)

Well, we've recovered from Patrick's death. However, whenever I pass by his apartment complex, I get a sudden urge to cry as I miss him so much. Chris loved the dog tag I got him for Christmas with Patrick's picture engraved on it. It's awesome. The Eminem song I'm listening to, When I'm Gone" was playing when I picked up Chris from school the day we learned of Patrick's death. Although it doesn't pertain to "trick" or his life, it holds special meaning to us. Mainly the part where he says:

"When I'm gone just carry on

don't mourn, rejoice everytime you hear the sound of my voice.

Know that I"m lookin' down on ya smilin' and I didn't feel a thing so baby don't feel no pain just smile back." It is still strange to not have him come knocking on our door looking for Christopher or the girls. I hope his parents and siblings find peace soon.

We had a great holiday. Friday night the kids all went to their dad's houses and opened presents. Saturday we opened ours here and Sunday we drove to West Palm Beach to Dan's brother's house. Nice time there too.

Patrick H. Strain

It's been 2 weeks now since Patrick's death. We still have a hard time believing it.
Patrick H. Strain was 14 years old. He was Christopher's best friend, like a brother to Amber and Samantha and like a son to me. He was at my house almost every day doing something or other with the kids. He was full of life and energy and always will to do what it takes to earn the money he would need for things. He mowed lawns to earn money for a motorized Razor scooter that looks like a motorcycle. On Saturday, December 3rd, he had enough money and purchased the scooter. He showed up here bright and
early to show it to Chris, but he was at a friends. Later that day, he came back and was able to show it to him. He was so excited. Patrick was here for a while showing Sammie how to hold and play a few strings on the guitar, joking around and talking to Chris. Later, they went to hang out by the pool and Chris invited patrick to come back over. Trick went home to get his scooter at around 8:00pm. When he didn't return that night, we assumed it was because his mom had probably wanted him home
The next morning, I had to meet Chris at school for his doctor's appointment. He asked me if he could go home and I had said no because he already missed school. Then he informed me of Patrick's death. He had been on his way back to our house Sunday night when he was riding in the parking lot of his apartment complex. His scooter had no lights or reflectors and he was struck and killed by an SUV. He was pronounced dead at 8:45pm at Wuesthoff Hospital. We were shocked! I picked up the girls later that day
and took them to a small park where I could break the news to them. That was very difficult to do. The next day, we set up a vigil site on the corner of the complex where he lived with his parents and brother. The news filmed some of it too. We visited each day until his funeral service and just talked about him, looked at photos, lit candles and more. Friday, December 9th was his funeral service @ Florida Memorial Gardens. It was a beautiful service.
Chris spoke, Samantha spoke and Amber sang (with no music) a few lines from Wake Me Up When September Ends. It was so sweet. There was a bagpipe player and the family released 4 doves after the service. They flew around 4 times and one broke free and came back one more time..we know it was Patrick!
He will be so missed by everyone who's life he touched. Such a tragedy at such a young age has effected us all. We love him and will always remember him

Thanksgiving

:-) Today is Thanksgiving. I made the traditional everything, even though it was just the 4 of us. Chris went to Cathie's and to his Dad's house. The girls stayed here and are now on their way to Grandma's. I have to work tommorrow and there is no school. They get more time off than I do!!

Included in this entry are pictures of my nephew, Ryan Anthony Bender during his first Thanksgiving and Christmas in New York.

General Chit Chat

Today the digital cable gets installed. Also, I will finally be rid of a dial up modem and moved into this century with a cable hookup! Wow...imagine being able to talk on the phone and surf the net at the SAME time...woo hoo!
On another note, I'm worried about Cathie. She went to the doctor because of all the bad headaches she's been having. They say there's something there, but she hasn't said what it is. She is going to another doctor to find out if it can be taken care of with medication. I sure hope so cause that stuff makes me nervous after what happened to my mother.
Mike went in for his second oral surgery yesterday. Apparently, his top teeth were lower than they should be and had to be fixed. He said he'd rather get it over with now than wait until later...well..it had to be anyway while the bone is still soft. Jen thinks he should have gotten a second opinion on whether it should be done or not, but he chose to do it the way he wanted. Hopefully, it will all turn out great.

Halloween

Had a nice Halloween. Annie set up a nice display table in the garage for me while i was at work. I finished up when I got home. Chris, Sammie, Amber, Annie, Lois and Dominique , her daughter, all went out while I stayed home and manned to fort. Our street is slow in comparison to the ones behind us..but that's ok. Sean and Laney showed up later at night and we all hung out and talked a while. They and Annie are still sleeping. I'm going to get some cleaning done. I have a pot roast in the slow cooker
so I won't have to worry about it later. The joys of motherhood!

It's Saturday. We managed to make chocolate chip muffins for breakfast and get this place cleaned up enough to finally head out the Sebastian Inlet for some relaxation and fun. First stop is the mall where the girls are getting their ears pierced for their birthday. Then it's off to McDonald's to feed everyone's faces and the final destination is the beach. Beautiful day for it too.

Annie was supposed to arrive today. Apparently, she took a cab to the airport and there was an accident on the way, making her miss the flight. She has to wait until tomorrow for the same flight and the same time...damn this sucks. I took today off and was going to use Dan's car to get there. The kids were all excited too. Oh well, maybe she can stay until the 2nd instead of the first. Just got to switch those days off so I can get her back to the airport. Always something , huh?

Hurricane Wilma

Well, We survived Wilma! I am thouroughly impressed that we personally remaned unscathed by 3 tornadoes that touched down very close to our street. 1, however was about 20 miles away..last night...and I could hear it in the distance. We had no power for about 2 hours, and the girls and I were ready to hit the bathtub if necessary! The other two happened today, with one off 192 about 1 mile from us and the other about 1/2 mile from us a traffic light away. That one blew windows out of one of my coworker's
house. The other one made an apartment complex off 192 near Sam's Club uninhabitable to most of it's occupants. Sheesh! Thank God we didn't get it full force! Tomorrow, we will check with Dan's parent's and see how their mobile home did. They stayed with Randy. Also concerned about David and Ruth in West Palm. What a mess!

Geez...at about 730..the lights went out until about 10....the storm is still 40 miles away, but super cells caused tornados not too far from here. Was a little scary since I could here it in the distance, but could not see it. I put pillows in the bathtub for comfort and made sure a comforter was nearby to cover ourselves with should we have to take cover. The girls were the only ones home with me. Dan was at work and Chris went to Pat's house to hunker down..as they call it here!

Hurricane Wilma (24th of the season!)

=-OWell, not such great news for Florida again. Looks like we're facing yet another hurricane...this one the most dangerous ever on record in the atlantic basin....good Lord! Her name is Wilma, and in just 12 short hours, she went from a category 1 hurricane to a cat 5 with winds of 175 mph. Right now, it is projected to hit the west coast of Florida first and the go straight across the state towards us here in central and southeast Florida. By the time it crosses the state and comes to our side,
it should be decreased to hopefully a cat 3 or less. But there is no way to tell for sure. The only thing that MAY spare us is a high pressure system that COULD push it further south and away from florida, going around it instead. I sure hope that is the scenario..but not looking to good so far. I am going to get some supplies and pack the car to stay at the Fountains where I work. We will be safe there as we were last year . I guess I"ll work , serve the residents and make some extra cash....can't hurt.

Right now, I am concerned about Dan's parents and brother's family who live right in the projected path where it will make landfall. not a good thing. I pray this thing will take a turn away from us!

:-)They're here laying the carpet in my bedroom...YES! Glad I can start to get that back in order soon. Of course, I have to wait for the bedroom furniture to be delivered first...hahaha.
Work is starting to suck more and more each day. It seems like on one ever see all the work you really do, only what they don't want you to do..which isn't much in comparison. There also seems to be a problem with people who like to abuse their power when their higher ups aren't around and they're appointed to oversee departments other than their own. They really have no idea of what goes on. They get a few complaints from residents and it's the end of the world. So they put it on us.....not the fact that
we don't have enough help like we should. Couldn't be that now could it? Oh well..life goes on.

Carpet being installed in our bedroom tomorrow..woo hoo! Only bad part is, I somehow have to manage to get the closet cleaned out AND the furniture out of the room before then...and Dan closes tonight....HELP!

Spent most of the day going through closets, emptying drawers and all things fun like that. Managed to get a bunch of stuff to the curb for special pick up tomorrow and a lot more to the garage for the community yard sale next week. I still have more laundry to do, dinner to make and more vacumming. If I"m still energetic enough, I'm hoping to do the floors too since during the week there is no time after work...and I don't feel like it after slaving away all day! The joys of motherhood.

Louis finished our bedroom today...the colors are so beautiful and are going to look much better when the furniture is in there.....I so cannot wait! :-) Next is either the main living room or the family room...or both! Our furniture should be coming soon for the front living room. Then I have to order slipcovers for the old couches so the kids can have them in the family room. Finally, some order is coming to the house...woo hoo!

the carpeting was laid in Chris' room today...look great! I can't wait to see it all done. Tomorrow, Louis is coming to paint the family room so we have to move everything out of the way tonight. Then it's on to our bedroom and eventually the girls room. I can't wait till it's all done and my house is back in some sort of order!

Amanda's baby is allergic to their cat, so she's giving it to Chris. It's a siamese kitty. He's tan, with a black nose and blue eyes. I hope he gets along with the dog and cat we already have. I guess time will tell.

Nothing out of the ordinary today. Picked up the girls after work and then went back for a general meeting. Got myself a Gem card so I can add some more to the kitty for a WalMart card at Christmas time. Sure hope my Christmas bonus is good this year.....Santa needs a new pair of shoes, baby!

Today, washed the car....no..it didnt' fall apart! and vacuumed it. Stopped at Dollar General for some snacks and cleaning supplies. Just chilling now until I get up and clean.....tomorrow is MONDAY already...ugh!

Looks like we have ourselves another category 5 hurricane in the Gulf of Mexico. It's headed for Texas, but if there is a big storm surge, it isn't going to be much help to Lousiana. And if it moves just a touch eastward, New Orleans is in for some more serious problems. Evacuation orders have already been given in Texas and most of those people are ones who were evacuated form Lousiana already. I really feel bad for them. I am praying they are spared this time around.

today was fairly uneventful. Did some cleaning, washed the cat and dog, took Samantha to a birthday party and then went to a bunch of furniture places with Dan. Didn't find anything we wanted, so we'll go next weekend. Amber is at grammie's and Chris is at Kym's. Sammie is home with me. Tomorrow, the girls are supposed to see their dad. Spoke to Sean last week. He's still working the same job, screening, and likes it. Hope he learns enough to do it on his own someday. I'm glad he's doing good. I miss him a
lot though...wish he lived closer
Drove Sammie by our old house in Palm Bay off Degroodt. It's the one on Hanscom Rd where Tom and I lived with the boys until our divorce. Then my friend Judy roomed with me and I ended up meeting Terry through a mutual friend. ...we all know how that story ends...LOL.

: :-PNot too much new. We were supposed to sign papers to close on the refinance, but the mortgage company hadn't been able to send all the needed information to the title company, so we go back Wednesday. That means we will have to wait until after the weekend get our money. That sucks because we're both off on Saturday's and would have been nice to go shopping. But I guess there's no choice, now is there??? >:o I'll be OK soon....LOL

:'(Still feeling bad for the hurricane Katrina victims. What a complete nightmare for these people. The unemployment rate is expected to be 25% due to the fact that half the businesses in the area are now destroyed as well. What an incredible clean up process this will be. Since so many people are now homeless and unemployed, maybe the government or state can come up with a plan to pay these people to perform a cleanup of the area. This way, they can remain active, work gets done and they will have something
to start out with when they begin to relocate. I don't have the answers, but it's a start. I know that if I find out a category 5 hurricane is headed towards my area, I'm OUTTA here for sure. That thing was incredible.
Today is Sunday. I don't have to work for Labor Day tomorrow, so I am enjoying the fact I have an extra day to chill out and do some things around here. I worked Friday, and so long as I work Tuesday, I will be paid for the holiday anway! Woo hoo! Today, I am doing light stuff like dusting, organizing some closet space and vacuuming.....some laundry too. Nothing major, but every little bit helps. Amber and Sammie went to Grandma's for a break from here and that helps me get some stuff done more easily.
Chris is here and is going to help me with a few things before running out to his friend's house. I feel bad because with gas prices being so high and me still not having a paycheck yet, I can't take them anywhere. I'd like to go to the beach or the park..do something away from home and work......hopefully this will be able to happen soon.

:-(Well it looks as if the water pump is fixed on the car and I'm getting 4 new tires, but they don't think the expense of replacing 1/2 the suspension on the car is worth it for it's age. They're going to lube the parts to see if it reduces the nasty squeaking sound. If I can get that to quiet down, I won't mind driving it until I can replace the car. Sucks, but what can I do?
:-DI'm happy that today is Friday. I don't have to work Monday, which is Labor Day, so at least I can have a nice three day weekend...woo hoo!8-) I've only been back to work for 4 days and I'm already wanting time off....hahahha. I need to win the lottery........(sigh)

Going to call and have them start working on my car today. We're going to have to use whatever is left on all three credit cards. I can't wait till we get everything paid off through the re-fi. At least it will be a monkey off our backs. I just have to get better at budgeting my money. It kind of sucks because life is so short, and I really like to spend small amounts on just doing something for the day. I hate thinking that all there is to life is working and paying bills. Welcome to reality!O:-)

Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama and the panhandle of Florida have been hit by Hurricane Katrina. There is widespread damage and flooding. What a mess! The storms are becoming more frequent and severe each time. I can only wonder how long our area will remain in tact this hurricane season.
:-(Another problem I am facing here is my vehicle not being repaired yet. I went back to work today, there was no school, and Dan was off, so getting there and back was no problem. Tomorrow is a different story as Dan has to drive to Orlando for an all day meeting, leaving me without transportation. I have no one to get a ride from and really don't want to call in my second day back. I also don't want the kids to miss school. This is so crazy. I'm trying to talk Dan into renting me a car ....sigh......

:-DSamantha's birthday party was yesterday. It went nice. We had Sharice, Brittany, Ericka, Isabella, Dominique and her mom Lois here. Everyone had a good time swimming and munching. She got 3 bratz dolls, $20 walmart card, and a radio alarm clock (pink). Cute! Jen and Dave sent her $10 and so did Uncle Mikey...so she was happy. I still owe her a present though.....lol.....gotta get back to work!

:'(Hurricane Katrina is now headed toward the gulf coast. It has become a category 5 hurricane...the highest it can go! My friend, Cindy, lives in Alabama and they have to watch. But the real problem is her daughter, Keri, who is in LA with her husband and child. His mother died myseterisouly last night and they are trying to get to his family which is 80 miles away from where the hurricane is scheduled to make landfall. Cindy hasn't been able to reach them as of yet and is very worried.
Neither her nor I feel that 80 miles is far enough to be going. But he has to be with his family right now and I guess they will decide from there what to do about evacuation. I hope everything works out for them. It's a scary situation.

Not too much new to report. It's getting closer to the time I return to work.....I'm actually nervous...but am sure that will pass quickly:-P
Tropical Storm Katrina became a hurricane and hit the Fort Lauderdale/Miami area last night. Apprently it caused 4 deaths. The main area of concern was flooding as most of Florida is at 100% or more than normal saturation for this time of year. This was the 11th named storm of the season and we have three more months to go. Hurricane season officialy ends November 31st, so there is still more time for much to happen. I am keeping my fingers crossed that Melbourne can make it through without concern.

:-XIt appears that Tom's girlfriend, Rachel, has been trying to basically force herself upon Amanda and her new baby. She sends an e-card to her and signs it grandma dunaj....she's not even married to Tom yet. Amanda was pissed and when she tried to express herself to her father, he basically made her feel like she should accept Rachel no matter what and not feel the way she does. This woman acts like no one got hurt when she and Tom hooked up and because it's been a year, everyone should be just fine with
it all. She does not understand how or why Amanda feels the way she does. She thinks it's all Cathie..that she is still bitter and just doesn't like her because of that. It isn't true. Cathie is over Tom and his bullshit. She just wants to keep Rachel out of her life and only deal with Tom when it comes to matters of the kids. But Rachel doesn't even allow that. She responds to all emails and answers most calls. Bitch! >:o I sure hope she wakes up and smells the roses soon before words get exchanged.

Not too bad of a day today. I actually got quite a bit done around here. We're getting ready to paint next month so I am trying to clear the plant shelves. We have vases and bottles up there and they have 3 years worth of dust on them....ewwwww!
I managed to also get a lot of vacumming done, the curtains in dining room washed, blueberry muffins and jello made and cooked a steak for dinner. Yes, I am tired! Just finished putting the girls to bed and now am going to watch some tv and possibly spend time with Dan without interruption.....hmmm..wonder if that is possible! Chris is over Kym's house. She will drop him off in the morning so he can catch his school bus. Nice he can spend time away from home without compromising his school time.

Had another pretty decent day today. In the evening, the kids and I went to see Amanda's new baby girl, Shyanne. She's so adorable. She was a premie and only weiged 5 lbs, so we could only see her through the glass...but she was right up front, so it was easy.....awwww!
This week is Samantha's birthday so I have to figure out what to get her. I wish I could have a really nice party for her, but with money the way it is, I don't see that happening. She's inviting some kids to swim on Saturday so I'll make a cake for then and cupcakes for class on her actual birthday. She always likes when I do that! We're hoping to take the kids somewhere nice next month or in October like water mania or something. They need to get out after being cooped up all summer long...poor things! I
think it will be good for everyone of us.

today was the best I have felt in a loooong time! What a great feeling. You don't get this feeling too often as it usually takes you being in pain or really sick before you realize just how good you feel normally...like you take it for granted. Even little things you don't think about like using the bathroom and not having it hurt anymore.....wow....now that makes me feel like a very happy camper! I can drink tons of water without fear of actually having to rid some of it from my body...muahahaha!
Today I had alot of running around to do. I took Dan to work at 330am. Slept in till 6pm. Took the girls to school by 8pm. Then I dropped off paperwork at my job and came home to make some calls. Then Dan called and said his kidney was bothering him and could I bring him some pain reliever, so I drove back there and hung out with him for some of his break. On my way back, stopped in at Davidson's Tire and inquired about whether I could leave my vehicle for an estimate and asked a price on a tire for Dan's
car. Got back home close to 1pm and checked email. Then it was time to leave and drop off my car at Davidsons....Danny followed me and the traffic was so bad, we lost each other and he went to the wrong place...but we found each other again. Took him back home and then it was off to pick up Dan, again, for a doc appt at 4. Next it was off to get an xray for him. Then I took him and Danny home and went to get the girls by 6pm. Got his prescription filled and Walgreens and was FINALLY home @ 730....Then .....
I made grilled cheese and salads and now breathing again! DAaaaaaaaaamn. I'm gonna chill tonight and whoever bothers me gets shot on site! 8-)

I had the stints removed today......that was SOOOO not fun! He had to try twice to get it out. If he couldn't get it out on the second try, he was going to have me go to the hospital again, put me out and then do it. What happened was some of the stones attached themselves to the stint and they are calcified (very hard) so basically made it harder on removal. I cried and breathed like I was in labor the whole time...but he said I did really well. How the hell I have birth to 4 children is beyond me!
I guess it's a good thing we do this when we're young and not almost 40. I seriously don't think I could do it again if I had to! I'll be on antibiotics for about a week and am not to do any heavy lifting. Does cooking include heavy lifting? How about folding laundry? Using the remote?? hahahaha. I will return to work on the 29th...I decided that to be the date...one more week couldn't hurt to make sure I'm healed enough to not kill myself again!

The doctor's officed called me in an antibiotic that I start taking tonight before going to appt on Thursday. He's doing a systoscopy...look into bladder and kidney and taking out the stints too. Gee I can hardly wait. I then continue taking the antibio until it's gone. Hopefully I can go back to work next week. That would be good...even though I'd love to stay home the rest of my natural life...lol.

Drove Dan to work this morning. Came home and fell back asleep before waking kids up for school. After taking them, I stopped in and applied for food stamps. Not something I wanted to do, but considering I became ill and have no income right now, I guess it's the best thing to do. Went home after that and tidied up some of the house. Dan got off at 1pm, so before I knew it, I was off to pick him up. Got home...made three big calls and then it was time to pick up the girls.
then it was off to the bank to get a pin number for my new debit card. Dropped off water bill payment, stopped at Mcdonald's and then 7-11 for gas...finally back home. Damn, I'm tired now! Hopefully I can outlast the kids!

Spending mo' money!

Got the new air conditioning unit today.

 What an expense that was..but at least we're cool and can breathe. It's just something you can't live without in Florida. We decided to look into a small home equity loan so we can pay off the credit cards and Dan's car. This would give us about 700 more a month to use on other things. Then we can get out from under this cloud that's been looming for the past couple of months, only being made worse by my being out of work and things like A/C units dying....
not to mention the car too.....someone close the floodgates please!

We just got back from the video store. Had to rent some games for these kids as they've been bored out of their minds. First, they were at other people's houses while Dan and I went to NY to see Jennifer and the family. Then, they came home a few days and I became ill. So for another 2 weeks while I was in the hospital, they were again at other people's houses. Even after I was released, we stayed at grandma's so she could help me out. Now that I'm home, I don't have a car, but also am too tired to go
anywhere for very long periods of time and don't have the money to either. So they've been stuck inside mostly and on each other's nerves. I feel so bad for them. Overall they've done really well.
My sister, Jennifer, goes back to work Monday since having Ryan in April. She's not looking forward to it, but I'm sure it will be worth it. Besides, she'll have time off when she has the next little Bender....which she says she's going to try for soon. Wow....where have all the years gone? My siblings are all grown and and leading their own lives, my firstborn daughter is going to be a teenager in one more year, Chris 18 in 2 years and Samantha a teen in 3 more years. I swear just yesterday I was 16 myself
without a care in the world more than where I would be going on a Friday night and whichboy would I like?? It all goes way too fast! Well, time to settle down and watch the idiot box for a while....guess I should be happy it's here for my entertainment...lol. More next time......

When it Rains, it Pours

As if things couldn't get any worse, our A/C unit died last night. It's been one helluva hot day today. So now we have to spend almost $5,000 for a new unit. That depletes one savings account and maxed out a credit card. When it rains it pours, but this past 6 weeks has been a downright flood. Looks like it's going to be tight the rest of the year around here. Amazing how far behind you can get just from an illness. I guess I'll just have to keep focused on the light at the end of the tunnel to get me thru!

Back to School

School started back today...thank goodness! The kids get so bored by the time summer is almost over, they were actually wanting to go to school

.
Two more days until my lithrotripsy. I wish I didn't have to put under..I've had enough of that to last me a lifetime.

Tomorrow, I have to be on a clear liquid diet all day. I have to drink an 8oz glass of clear liquid every hour until as late as I can..then nothing after midnight...nothing at all. Oh such fun. I also have to do a bowel prep which means drinking an oh so yummy 8oz bottle of magnesium citrate. If you don't do all these things, the kidney stone won't show up properly.
If that happens, then you can't have the procedure done. And if you don't drink enough liquids, you can't go home after the procedure until you 'pee' enough....sheesh. I'll be so happy when all of this is over and done with.

 

What a few weeks it's been

Wow....it's been a harrowing past couple of weeks. I'm really lucky I'm here typing in this journal. Below is a brief recap of just what I've been through recently......

I woke up for work one morning and felt lower back pain, like a kidney stone, which I've had before. I took Motrin, hoping it would let me go to work and get through the day until seeing the doc, but after an hour, it hadn't worked. I knew I need antibiotics, so decided to go to the ER. They gave me some demerol and took blood. In the meantime I called my fiancee and told him what was up and also asked him to callwork for me as I couldn't talk too well at that point. That's all I really remember. Apparently, in between the time i called him and the time the blood tests came back htey found out that my blood was septic...poisoning itself. The kidney stone blocked the tube between the kidney and bladder not allowing the flow. My fever spiked to 103.5 and I was getting lethargic. They had to put an emergency drainage tube  into my back to drain out the bad fluids and give me 5 units of blood...I had tons of tests do0ne and everything. If the septic blood had been able to spread, it would have went to my lungs and heart and eventually the brain. This is how the Pope died recently....scary. I had to stay in ICU for about 5 days and then spent another 6 days in a regular recovery room. Boy it wasn't fun. They actually had to put me in a morphine induced coma to keep my organs from over working themselves. SUCH JOY! I still have to get the lithotripsy done....you lay on a table, get knocked out, and they shoot a laser beam through a gel pad to break up your kidney stone. Then I get the stints out that are keeping the tube open that the stone was blocking...after THAT, I find out when I can go back to work. I've already missed three weeks..so I should be comepletely broke by then...woo hoo!

So, as you can see....things haven't been the greatest. Not having income coming in doesn't really make me too happy. Just paying what bills I can right now. What made it worse is that someone took my debit card while I was in the hospital and made quite a few charges and caused my account to go negative. So until I could make a police report and get to the bank to report it all, I didn't have a dime when I got released from the hospital. How much does that suck??? A lot!   

Samantha has a friend overnight, so I am going to lay them down to watch a movie and relax. I get tired pretty easy still. That will happen for a while I'm told. Will write more soon.

 

 

The Dungeon

Nothing too exciting to report today. Went to work and did the usual sweat to death all day long...it's like a sauna working in there sometimes. But I guess kitchens will always be hot!
I have to say, I'm pretty proud of Chris these past couple of days. He's been relatively calm and pleasant.

 I really am enjoying it. I want to be close to him so badly, but it's so hard with how he treats me. I hope we can get closer as he gets older. I feel like we've missed out on so much because of his disabilities. But I think he's beginning to realize what they are and that I want a better relationship with him. I love him so much and I hope he knows that.

My vacation in NY

I had a really nice, relaxing vacation at my sister's house on Long Island. I've been back a week now, and feel a bit better. I enjoyed seeing my new nephew, Ryan and playing with him....hell, even their psycho dog, Chance was pretty fun to hang out with! I call him Cujo....don't ask!

I finally got to go to the Montauk Point Lighthouse. All the years I grew up on Long Island, I had always wanted to go. It's the furthest point on land you can go to on the island. I climbed the 130 something stairs to the top and it was well worth it. Considering I have vertigo, this is a great achievement. But I was determined since I don't know when I'll get the chance to go again.

While there, Jen and Dave hosted a BBQ so that Annie and I could see a couple of friends while visiting wihtout having to travel all over Long Island. I saw Paula, who I hadn't seen in  over 10 years and JoAnne who visited me in Florida not too long ago, but was still nice to see her and meet her husband for the first time. I looke forward to Jennifer and David coming to see us with the baby soon. Will be nice to have them here...only this time w/ a third person...lol.

 

CHRIS AMBER SAMMIE

I'm ready to leave for my trip to Long Island. I have to say, it's wonderful and sad at the same time. I know I desperately need to get away from the kids and take a break, yet I feel bad they won't be with me. However, I am looking forward to spending time with my sisters and brother and my new baby nephew Ryan. Next time we plan a NY trip, all the kids will be going and I am sure will enjoy themselves.

Chris, Amber and Samantha....I'm sorry you didn't get to go with me this time, but next time we will all go together and make a road trip out of it! Aunt Jen isn't ready for a lot of people to be in the house with the baby, but said she loves you all dearly and wants to come as soon as you can. I will truly miss each and everyone of you while I am away. We have some hard times around here, and although that hurts, I still hope that one day soon, we will all find a way to be nice to each other.

Being mean and nasty to one another takes a whole lot more energy than being nice. No one is perfect, but your family is all you have for the rest of your life. Your friends will come and go. But your family will always loves you. And I love you all!!!!

Your the reason I work hard to give you what you need. You're the reason I get up each day. You're the reason for living and my purpose in life. Dont ever doubt my love for you. At times you may think I, or Dan are mean.
But we are only trying to teach you how to become productive, respectful and decent adults. Everythign a parent does is out of love for their child. Being kind to one another in your family is what shapes how you will be to others when you are out on your own. Strive to become good, decent people. You will go so much further than you can imagine! Ok, enough lecturing...again, I love you and you will be in my heart until i come back and squeeze you all next week!!!

Aches and Pains!

Very sore today for some reason. My back and neck muscles feel like someone beat me up! When I feel like this, it doesn't make me really want to do much of anything else. UGH!
Well, Amber is going to be in a cast for 4 weeks. We saw the orthopedic doc today and he said although her bone wasn't broken or fractured, she injured the growth plate on the right side of her right foot. So to keep it immobile for a while...this is what they chose. She has a walking boot with it, so no crutches. She chose a stars and stripes design since it is close to Independence Day...cute! Some start to the summer!

Baby Bro Leaves Florida

Today, my brother flys back to NY. Good news is, next week, I will be there visiting not only him, but my 2 sisters and new nephew! This will be the first vacation I have taken in a long, long time and the first vacation without kids that was more than a day or two long! Will be weird, but I'm sure I will adjust. ;-)

For the Kids!

HI

  This is Mom. I just wanted to tell you that I love you very much. You are such a beautiful, caring, loving, helpful, smart girl and I can't wait to see what you'll be like when you're a teenager! That won't be long from now...wow!

 

HI

 This is Mom. I just wanted to tell you that you're a super smart math whiz and have the potential to become anything your desire. If you can turn that crankiness into something constructive....wow...you'll go far! Pretty soon after Amber, you'll be a teenager.....and I'll bet you'll be gorgeous!

Hi Christopher!

This is Mom. I just wanted to tell you that even though we have a tough time getting along....I love you so very much. You also are very smart, and handsome. You can do so much with your life if you try. I can't wait to see the man that you become in the near future..only 2 more years till 18!! WOW WOW WOW!!

Hi Sean!

This is Mom.... HOW THE HELL CAN YOU BE ALMOST 22??? Sorry, had to get that off my chest! I cannot believe how incredibly handsome you have become. You're loving and affectionate and I've noticed it more each time I see you. I hope that you take the time to look into your soul and see the great person you have the potential to be. You have talents...use them to your advantage...you have love...give it freely. and most of all..you have yourself..treat yourself well and the rest will come easily. I love you!

Baby Bro Arrives in Florida!

My brother arrives from NY today! The kids will be so happy to see him. He won't be so happy with the cloudy, rainy weather, but at least he'll be away from his place and work for a while. I am trying to find a sitter for tonight so I can go out with Mike, Sean and Laney. Gotta see my bro do some karaoke..."gimme the beat boys and free my soul, I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away...." Go MIKE Go!

Vacation

it's getting closer to the time I am going to NY. I cannot wait. This will also be the longest time I've been away from my children, which feels a little weird, but I am looking forward to some time to myself. I'm sure I will call them everyday! Hahaha!

It's funny how, as a mother, you really want to take a vacation alone, but yet you still feel a pang of guilt. My kids have been pretty gracious so far. They know that they will go on the next trip to NY and we'll most likely drive and spend more time there. So knowing that helps them deal with it better. Plus, if they're behavior gets better, we will take them somewhere nice. I'd like to go to Six Flags Over Georgia @ Cedar Point. Nice amusement park with an awesome roller coaster which Dan will enjoy! We'll see how it goes.

Almost a Year Later

It's been raining all week...enough already!

Well, I know I haven't written in quite some time. I guess I just get so busy with other things, I don't think about it. We're back in hurricane season again and it's expected to be a rough one. Still can't predict where any will land, but I'm confident Florida will have at least another one. Our home did excellent through all of the other ones, Frances, Charley, Jeanne and Ivan. Only had to replace the screen enclosure to the pool and put the privacy fence back up. Many other people were not so lucky. It was definitely and eye opener for a lot of folks in this are and all through Florida. I think more will be properly prepared this year!

I have been relatively miserable at work. Sometimes I think the good workers get looked at to do more for less and the bad ones get special consideration and babied. I can only hope it will change soon!

My brother, Michael, will be here this weekend and will be spending 4 days. Then the following week, I get to go see my brand new nephew, Ryan Anthony!!! I am soooo excited. Plus I have never seen my sister's first house...so look forward to that as well. Can't wait to get away from MelBoring for a while either....lol. My next entry will include pictures of Ryan.