Saturday

Today was relatively uneventful. I have been in pain for a few days ..there seems to be something wrong with a spot underneath my shoulder blade. Everytime I move or turn a certain way, it hurts like the dickens! Sure wish I had that health insurance so I could see the doctor. It gets old not feeling well. I don't seem to have near the amount of energy I used to. Cleanign the house seems to take days instead of hours now. Sad, but true. Plus, the stress of these kids fighting all the time doesn't help! Samantha is becoming more mouthy everyday....sometimes I just don't know what to do. I am beginning to wonder if she needs medicine herself. It may do her some good. She can be plain mean sometimes. Amber trys so hard to do what's right and her brother and sister make this next to impossible for her sometimes. I feel bad for her. She just wants everyone to get along and tries to keep the peace. But it's hard when no one listens to a single word you say. Another hard thing is getting them to bed...it's around midnight before this happens each day. I don't know what to do anymore. I am soooo tired. I can't spend time with Dan, or alone, or just rest. I have to constantly watch what people are doing or pay for it later. It's almost like they can't be left alone for 5 minutes. God forbid I ever become ill to where I have to stay in bed or anything....no one would survive....it's like they don't even notice you're not feeling well or plain just don't care. I am going to continue to try to make them see the right way to do things and how to respect themselves and others. I can only try. I am waiting on a behavioral analyst to work with them and then see if therapy will help. I have to get to the root of the problems before I have unruly teenagers to deal with. I don't think I"ll survive! I love you all...I just wish you'd see that and try to work with me. I only want what's best for all of you.

Another day in the life of Debi.